to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
