Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
