Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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