Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize