I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
