I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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