Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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