It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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