You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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