i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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