Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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