Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
