She is in my trunk
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just pee around me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
