You smell like stripper and shame
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
