I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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