The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
