we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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