I just made out with a guy for $7.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
