dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
