A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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