she was so not down for the gang bang
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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