:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
