i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
