we have officially mastered the walk of shame
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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