Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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