Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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