i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
