they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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