we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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