ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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