Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
