Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
