Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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