I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
