She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
