I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need a beard to bite.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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