Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
PANTIES FOUND
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