What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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