My hair reeks of homosexuality.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize