she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
