How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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