That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
