i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
