Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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