I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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