So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
