hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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