I want to stick my p in your. b.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
