that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
