I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
