I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
