Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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