they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
