a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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