I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
