you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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