How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
