Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
