I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this just has baby written all over it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize
