I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
