i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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