im drinking this country out of the recession.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
