David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
