Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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